My new name.

Yesterday, i met Emily, my friend. she is 30 and she's parents are Korean but she has lived most of her life time in the U.S. So She is bilingual.(but english is much better.)
Anyway. Until then, I have had no English name. But she gave it to me.
She suggested to me a list of names; Elvin, Zeckery, Roy, Ian etc.. but I choose Ian. ans she told me it is suit me.
From now on, my Eng name is Ian. hahahaha
I like it. She told me that eng names have their own character. So I asked What impression 'Ian' has.
She answered me Ian remains her an English Oxford guy who plays polo game. kkkk I totally like it.

bcuz no one call me as Ian but Emily, It is little awkward to me yet. haha

my new toy.

I've lost my cell phone. But Because I will go army on February, I decided not to buy my new phone. But after a week with no phone, My own life became simple but people around me got confused and felt sttufy. So I decided to make new phone. And my new phone was my mom's ex-phone. That is not smart one. So my mom had allowed me to use her ipad!
  After I got mom's ipad, i have used ipad, i was totally amazed. This was my first apple stuff. Easy to use, convenient functions, neat design! Additionally I didn't use my laptop even a time! A ipad is enough for every my school stuffs!
  And I was in the process  of rummage 'iTunes U', I cannpot help but astonished. Through iTunes U, I could download the lecture that was taught in Westminster, Dort, Reformed, Gorden Conwell, Covenant Theological Seminary. include Harvard and Yale.(of course for free!) I was shocked and shouted in my mind 'This is the FLOOD of information!'
  So now ipad have been my great new toy. This is still amazing, and true innovation.
Am I one step behind?

Testimony

It's not your problem

 

I have gone to church since I was in my Mom's womb. And Everywhere including church I was pretty nice, and a exemplary student. In school, I studies well, got along with my friends. In church, I was never absent. and I gathered more Talent('Talent' is kind of money that could only use in the Sunday school. and If children do well, they were given 'talent' by their teacher. Every Korean Sunday school hold 'talent market' that could only use "talent" regularly) than anyone else did in Sunday school. I never made an mistake, and was always complimented. I so loved that life, above jesus. I kept going to church religiously but never knew who jesus really was and what his life and death is meant to me. So when I was middle school student, I could not stand what happened in my life. It went like this: I went to church every week and to every event, retreat. So everyone who knew me(church crew, school friends, pastors even Parents!) treated me as a holy, spiritual person. But what happened deep inside of my heart everyday was an absolutely evil things.(lustful, pride, anger, jealous, thirst for complements.) I felt like a hypocrite. My conscience tortured me, so what I decide in my life finally was just give up jesus. So I could not had desire, hope, expectation to Jesus. But He never let me go.

When I was 17. I attended a retreat called 'Good-News School' there, first time in my life, I started to actually listen to Good-News and made it as my story! That was awesome. First, Word about Sin was preached. Sin, No hope, Death, Despair, I have realize that all of these words were mine. No longer abstract. That was Who I AM! In the deepest depression, jesus' cross and God's love, his grace begun to feel real. Grace became Grace to me. These was not just boring words, but My Life! Above all I could know What it means and believe: Gal 2:20. I died with jesus when he died on the cross and I live with jesus when he rose again by Faith!

Forth day of the retreat(not exactly) God called me as a missionary, but I could not answer to him! because I thought I was thoroughly improper, so I have said in my mind "Person like me..... I cannot..!" But that very moment, God gave me an enlightenment. "It's not your problem! It's not up to your talent, but me. I'll do everything and you'll see." This is too clear to me and I was sure it's god's calling. So I give my life as a missionary to him.

After retreat, everything was change. Before that, my life had had no goal. But after that, my life had apparent destination: Missionary, ultimately God's Glory! This is staggering change in my life so instantly I had to question myself as a high school student first time of my life. "Why Do I have to Study?" If I couldn't answer this question, I had been ready to quit my school. I agonized hotly. And finally I decided to theological seminary to know God and Bible more.

Now my calling is this: Person who say Amen, Whenever, to Wherever he calls. I believe Chongshin is where he calls. In here I am learning how to love God and my neighbors. Yes I am too fragile and weak yet. But over my weakness, I trust him because my life is his and he'll do, I'll definitely see.

Make a rule

  Now I am in the end of sophomore and at this belated hour I realize importance of reading good books. At the same time, I started to get discernment of the books and buy some books what I have to, want to read. I cannot just pass by the book store and so far, there was no problem at all. But now, there is some problem. The problem is that I started to have paid more than I could afford for my books ! The more I buy some books, the more greed for the books is grow. I possess my mother's credit card as emergency but finally I used that card for my books. and the worst above all things is that my reading speed cannot catch up my greed for new books. that's the problem. Even now, in my mind, some books titles that i cannot buy are revolving around my mind. "Preaching and Preachers", "Until Justice and Peace Embrace", "Reformed Dogmatic", "Missio Dei"…

  So, I decide to make a rule my self ! The Rule is simple. It goes like this: If i want to buy a new book, I have to read a book! After build my own rule, I became more enthusiastic reader over passionate buyer. So If you are book lover, I recommend this rule to you! 

Christianity's Dangerous Idea

These days, I am reading a book, 'Christianity's Dangerous Idea' written by Alister Mcgrath. this book has fully 900 pages, but comparatively easy to read.
  This book is all about protestantism's history and 'Dangerous Idea' is about protestantism idea. Mcgrath says protestantism contains fatal danger because of its subjectivity in hermeneutics. After religious reformation, because of its huge effect, lots of people started to believe they can interpret the text themselves. (before religious reformation, idea like this was totally beyond imagination because bible interpretation was fully in charge of the Church and people thoroughly depend on church's interpretation) and unfortunately this idea, nowadays, gave birth to many ideas, denominations, ridiculous heresies and irreparable conflicts.
  To explain protestantism's history and development of this Idea and make an anticipation, Mcgrath start from 16c religious reformation. His explanation is concise, ample, outstanding. I am big fan of him, enthusiastic student. Although i read only 100 pages now, I fall for him and fall into debt to him. To me, everything is unfamiliar and staggering. You know what? Luther didn't against purgatory itself! He just opposes idea that Pope can reduce the period how someone have to stay in purgatory. And he never wanted to make a new religious!

my vision

  when i was 17, 1grade in ig school, i went a retreat called 'good news schol' in first week of september. and There, I believe i jesus first of my life personally.
  nou only i was born a christian but also i have not absented even a day from church. but i didn't know what does cross mean for me. so when i was middle school boy, i became too skepticism though presented church everyday.
  But through this retreat, i saw how my being was so hopless, moreover i realized what does cross really mean to me and at the cross, what really happened.
  In course of retreat, there are time for calling to missionary. Pastor said "anyone who is given the heart of mission, stand up" but i said in my mind 'i can't do that', 'i have no right.' But that very moment, someone in my mind whisper to me "this is not your work, but i will do it and you will see"
This is my calling to mission. from that day my vision is missionary. yet i don't know where i have to go, what i have to do actually but there is one thing i can sure; he will do it though my life, and i will see obviously.

wisdom tooth

wisdom tooth.

some weeks ago, my tooth started to ill in every bite. this symptom was getting harder and harder, so i have no choice but see a dentist.
  i visited dental clinic and got a head X-ray. Dentist said to me that reason to my symptom is wisdom teeth.va because i have pulled out 2 wisdom tooth at right side in summer cation, in my X-ray there left 2 wisdom tooth left at another side. the trouble is that downside of them is hiden in the gum so i have to do a surgery. Anyway i made a reservation to surgery and came home.
  In surgery date, first of all i was given a anesthetic shot in half of my mouth and that was horribly painful. After anesthetic i had to wait nearly 30min so that paralyze utterly. and during the time i got paralyzed slowly. Finally sitting at the dentist chair i pretended to feel fine but frankly to say, i was in fear. A nurse came and said to me that don't panic there will not be even tiny feeling because of aneshetic shot and surgery will be finish quickly. i knew that she was struggling for my relax and to my surprise my fear was gone away somehow. surgery started and everything seemed so nice.but after (maybe)2minute there was problem that a teeth at  downside was linked with bone. dentist endeavored to  pull out by force but it didn't work at all. gradually i became to feel fright again and be worried. after several attempts my teeth was pulled out with a big sound. i totally amazed.
  After surgery, dentist said to me that bone piece that linked with wisdom teeth was broken in the process of  extraction of a teeth. So my chin will be puff off severely. i was dispaired and returnes to school.
  Slowly anesthetic wore off and i could feel pain. it was great deal of pain that i've never felt before. because of terrible suffering i couldn't do anything but had a goarn. after took a drug prescribed at a pharmacy i could take a rest. It was terrible nightmare.
  now most of pains were gone but my chin is puffed off still. and i cannot eat well. i want to get well as soon as possible.